So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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