you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
