My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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