i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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