DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize