So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
