hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
