"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
