He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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