who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Only a mothe r could love this liver
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
