he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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