he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When are your genitals available?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
