I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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