If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I lost the right to judge tonight
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
