i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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