I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize