Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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