I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
