New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
