I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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