What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
