Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
