Christians are straight up FREAKS
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
