I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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