We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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