i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
