that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
