My room smells like vodka and shame
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Shame - the story of my life.
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