my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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