Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
