Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
