omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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