mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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