It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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