We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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