Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Let's get the cat blown out
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
