Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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