so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize