Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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