I just cut my nipple shaving
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
