At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
