so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
