Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
