ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
