Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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