Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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