I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just sent this text using only my big toe
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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