She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
