I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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