the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
