what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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