Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
