Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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