You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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