im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
