Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
