Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
