I wanna bring you to show and tell
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
