shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
