dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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